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Saturday, 13 March 2010

So great to finally be smiling again! =D

If you know me well, or you're just a lovely person to talk to and easy to get on with, you probably know that the last 5/6 months have been Hell for me. I know I've probably been really miserable and annoying to be around haha, but so much has happened in these past few months that have just helped me get through it all and I have massive thank you's to say! First to Racheal (one of the bestest mates ever), Rob (for just having a go at me every time I have a relapse - it's like Rehab for the depressed HAHA) and everyone else from uni who have put up with all my high's and low's ... possibly more low's than high's! And I have to say thank you to Kandee Johnson as well... Honestly! I don't know her, never met her in my life... or vice versa... but I read her blog posts and they just inspire me to smile everytime =D! ...

I'm not gonna lie... most days I've woken up and thought "You have to smile today, Chanel or people are just gonna stop talking to you!!" even though I didn't want to smile ... and I tried hard to smile during the day even though I didn't really want to deep down inside... but I knew that I HAD to want to otherwise I probably never would smile again. If that makes any sense? Like, when you know you don't wanna do something, so you don't. But you know you have to WANT to do it because you have to get it done and wanting to do that thing is your only incentive! Get it? I hope that makes sense haha!

Moving on from all the thank you's and confusing-ness, I have to say that last night was probably the best night out I've had in SOOOO long and for once during the 5/6 months of being miserable, I found myself smiling... and I mean REALLY smiling. Not faking a smile; not thinking about a happy memory and smiling and then being all down, thinking I'll never have that again; not smiling because everyone else did; I smiled because I was happy on the inside and it showed on the outside! And I loved every minute of it!

So, I'm gonna close here but I'll leave you with some pictures of last night! We went down to China Town for a meal and then to Leicester Square for drinks! I got my face licked (which was very horrible!! haha) and beer spilt on me, my camera AND Edward (my phone =P ... yes I name my valuables! lol) ... but all in all it was an awesome night and I hope it wasn't a one off! =] 

 Visit/add me on facebook to see more piccies! hehe

Love to everyone who's been there for me through everything! =D

Everyone minus me! Lol - Liam, Kasia, Vincenzo, Szymon and Anna <3

Kasia and Me! <3

Vincenzo and Me! <3

Liam, (drunk) Szymon and Anna <3

Vincenzo, Kasia and Szymon <3

Thanks for reading,


1 comment:

  1. hey huni 3rd time trying to comment on here, my internet connection playin up i think

    but just wated to say glad your smiling and happy, you seem like an absolute lovely person and you dont deserve anything but happiness

    so keep smiling lil star

    mwah x